04/08/22: NSR Classic – Retribution and Josh’s Deviance

Retribution and Josh’s Deviance.

Sometimes life doesn’t hang about. Following the Tomster’s successful, albeit unintentional, ruination of Neil’s race last week, nobody would have predicted that the nerfing gods would have enacted their retribution so swiftly, but that’s precisely what happened this week when they tampered with the Tomster’s bicycle stabilisers and he wobbled and crashed on his way to the club.

Details of the Tomster’s injuries are sparse – a grazed knee and a trip to the Calpol clinic being the majority’s guess – but they were sufficient to render him, if not completely dead, at least sufficiently dead not to be able to race a slot car for the evening. If you were badly injured, Tom, get well soon. If you weren’t, then ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’ll teach you to mess with the nerfing gods!

In other news, a fledgling rent-a-drive car preparation outfit, Edwards Engineering, made its first appearance at Molesey this week attempting to challenge the all-conquering might of Team Bryant. Julian left before racing commenced, leaving the outfit’s rapid Porsche 908/3 in the hands of Neil. Neil didn’t beat Team Bryant, but he made it onto the third step of the podium, a none too shabby debut for the team.

Despite some very close racing this wasn’t an epic NSR Classics evening, with only two changes of position. Josh took the win, Simon wasn’t miles off the pace in second, and starting the final heat David looked pretty secure in third, six seconds ahead of Neil, before throwing it away with some woeful driving and three crashes, losing a lap and the podium spot to Neil and Edwards Engineering.

Graham jumped up to fifth ahead of Ed in Heat 4 before dropping back to sixth in Heat 5 – although he did have the honour of being the night’s most consistent driver, his average lap time closer to his fastest lap than any other driver’s was to theirs – but that was the extent of the racing excitement. Even the mid-race tea break conversation veered away from its usual topics of slot cars and silliness, discussing instead the dull subjects of the country’s electricity generation strategy and oil company profits, before Josh brought it back on track by wondering out loud why nobody was talking about his favourite deviant sexual behaviour, which, for reasons of decency, can’t be mentioned here, although if you can be bothered to wade through Google Translate’s many languages, you’ll discover translates to seks gelandangan. Happy googling!