10/08/23: Sideways Group 5 – The Pink Pig Returns

The Pink Pig Returns.

You can’t beat a bit of bacon. You can have all the veggie, vegan, 3D-printed and god-knows-what-else alternatives you like, but eventually you’ll be able to resist no longer. When you need bacon, you need bacon. Proper bacon. This week Julian needed proper bacon.

You see, on January 12th this year, Julian wheeled out his trusty Pink Pig Group 5 Porsche that had served him so well, slaughtered everyone else in the race, then announced that he’d be retiring the car from competition. The Pink Pig was dead. No more bacon.

Sure enough, for his next four Group 5 races Julian drove a BMW M1 instead, slotworld’s equivalent of fake bacon. He won the first two of those races too, so perhaps fake bacon wasn’t so bad after all, but then it all went wrong. Lee won the next two races and Julian only managed second. For the king of Group 5, two losses on the trot called for drastic action, not more of this fake bacon malarkey. What was needed was proper bacon. There was just one solution. This week Julian un-retired the Pink Pig.

And that’s pretty much the story of the race. Reunited with the Pink Pig, Julian walloped everyone else, finishing a colossal forty-five seconds ahead of Simon in second place. Forget that the battle for second had been an excellent four-way fight between Simon, Alex, Chris and David and that the midfield battle for sixth between Neil, the Tomster and Terry was even closer. Forget that Mario didn’t destroy what remained of his Mustang this week. Forget, if you can, young Tom swapping his Lancia Stratos for Terry’s much longer Ferrari and proudly announcing to everyone that it was nice to at last hold something big and properly lubricated in his hand. Forget everything else. This week was all bacon and nothing but bacon. Proper bacon. The Pink Pig’s back.