14/12/23: Club Cars – Bumper Cars and Humiliation

Bumper Cars and Humiliation.

A meagre grid of just six drivers turned up for 2023’s final RevoSlot club cars round. Making a welcome return to the class was Josh, who’d been absent from the RevoSlot fold since his disastrous ninth place in the opening round back in February.

Depending on which rumour you believe, Josh’s prolonged absence from the Club Cars Championship was because 1) he’d spent all his time, energy and money on his attempt to win 2023’s ISRA World Championship in Atlantic City, USA, or 2) he’d been so traumatised by his defeat in February that he’d spent most of the year hiding in his pit box sticking pins in his malfunctioning trigger finger, or 3) he’d at last realised that women, scooters, partying and generally dicking around is far less stressful than trying to win at Molesey. Whatever, it was nice to see him back, and, from the point of view of mickey-taking by everyone else, even better that the poor bugger got beaten again. Nobody ever said racing at Molesey was for the faint-hearted!

The action started even before the first heat had got under way, Chris so intent on beating Mario that he nerfed him over the wall and onto the floor during the warm-up laps. That wouldn’t be the last time the two tangled.

Simon, who’s been on a roll recently with a string of good results including four wins, took an immediate lead that he wouldn’t lose, ending the night three laps ahead of the field. Behind him, though, the racing was frenetic and very close, David and Josh swapping positions several times and going into the mid-race tea break separated by just half a second.

In the slower group, Chris, Mario and Neil seemed to have decided that the Christmas party season had arrived and that crashing into each other would be much more fun than actually completing the race, the trio crashing so often that marshal Simon was running around the track to each corner ready to catch them when they became airborne. Neil’s crashing was the most successful, his well-earned reward an impressive last place, although he spoiled it somewhat by winning his group’s fastest-lap point.

With Simon’s lead secure and Chris, Mario and Neil still intent on playing bumper cars, the remaining podium spots were David’s and Josh’s to fight over. Josh returned from the tea break flying, pulling almost a lap ahead of David, but then threw it all away with a very scrappy Heat 5 to go into the final heat trailing David by 1.6 seconds. Surely the RevoSlot gods weren’t going to humiliate Josh again, were they?

Well, sadly they were. David was driving the white car, Josh the slightly faster green one, so the sensible money was on Josh catching David to take the runner-up spot, but that’s not how it turned out. Both were trying very hard, both crashed, but Josh crashed twice and the second crash was the killer, Josh ending the evening third, a measly 0.015 behind David.

Humiliating? Probably not, and certainly not as bad as Josh’s dismal attempt with the Supras back in February, but it definitely wasn’t Josh’s night. It’s good to have you back, Josh!