Old Boys Decline.
RevoSlot’s Toyota Supra lane cars were out again this week, this time set up with a new wide-track stance intended to make them handle more like F1 cars than GTs. The jury is out on whether the experiment worked, but the racing was just as close and as much fun as always.
Julian and Simon were the stars, battling neck and neck for the win for the whole race, Julian eventually taking top spot after a stellar final heat in which he turned a 3.45-second deficit to Simon into a 1.82-second winning margin.
The laughs of the evening (if we’re still allowed to poke fun at old people these days), were what can only be described as the age-related problems afflicting a growing number of the club’s senior drivers, namely Neil, David and Terry. The younger drivers could only look on and smile kindly, much as you might to your favourite grandparent sat incontinent and dribbling in the corner of the room while blabbering on about how, back in their day, they were shit-hot slotcar racers too.
Neil, despite his best lap being only 0.011 slower than second-placed Simon’s, had all the consistency of a hundred-year-old and, after a crash-strewn race, managed to finish stone last.
David seemed to be displaying the first signs of dementia, twice managing to forget between driving his car to the start-line and the heat actually starting, which car he was supposed to be driving. In heat 1 he spent the first two corners looking at Julian’s car until he triggered the night’s first stoppage by causing a monumental four-car pile-up, then repeated his forgetfulness in heat 5, but this time looking at the wrong car for almost three laps until the ever-louder shouts from marshals re-slotting his car at every corner alerted him to his error.
Terry, bless him, was in a world of his own, one minute almost on the pace, the next minute miles off it and crashing his car repeatedly into the wall. Fortunately, Graham salvaged some dignity for the elderly by winning the four-way fight for 4th place between him, David, Mario and Chris. Thank you Graham!
In some cultures, age and the wisdom which comes with it is viewed as a good thing. At Molesey, it’s merely fuel for merriment and piss-taking. Long may it continue!
