Two fingers or one?

In what at times sounded more like a self-help group for romantically clueless undateables than it did a slot car race meeting, the big question was how many fingers Frank should use to caress his new Thursday night partner’s trigger. That, and what he should do with her knobs and buttons.

Frank, you see, had arrived arm in arm with a new Slot.it controller which, to your correspondent’s untrained eye, seems to be the one item that loads of drivers use, yet few understand.

Still, the various suggestions provided confusion and amusement in equal measure, thankfully diverting attention from what was the slowest Group C race of the year.

Lee and Julian just scraped inside the 800 seconds barrier with Lee emerging victorious, helped by the improbable sight of Julian crashing several times, which seemed to act as a catalyst for everyone else to follow suit, just more often.

For those dying to know, by the end of the evening Frank appeared to have settled on one finger, which is a wise choice. Gently, Frank. Gently.